man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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