he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
