I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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