hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
