well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
