Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
