If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize