I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
