I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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