so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
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I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
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Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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