She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
