We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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