is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
