Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
