Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
