i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
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