that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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