I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't deserve a penis
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize