So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Quick, to the slutcave!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize