I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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