I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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