I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
