are you still at the devil's house?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
