he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I love having hate sex.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
