Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
