I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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