At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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