Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
