She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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