i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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