it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
