I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
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You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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