the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
