I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
this is an emotional support booty call
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
