Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
