Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
