yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Found the puke drawer
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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