Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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