I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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