he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
