Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
MIDGETS
????
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
