RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
