I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
