..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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