ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
