I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
