i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
