My sheets look like a crime scene.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize