Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
