You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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