I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
