Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
tell me about the fingering
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