How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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