I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize