You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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