I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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