Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Green mimosas i think yes
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
