youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
