Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
My vagina is very pro this idea
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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