I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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