Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You have to summon your inner elephant
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I love you. Go after that dick
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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