We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
