a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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