I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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